Kill Solutions, Not Problems
Inspired by Uri Levine episode
Uri Levine's crisis management paradox: be relentlessly persistent about solving the problem while ruthlessly willing to kill solutions that don't work. This is parenting in one sentence.
Uri says you must be relentlessly persistent about solving the *problem* while being ruthlessly willing to kill *solutions* that don't work. Simultaneous stubbornness and flexibility. This is the entire parenting game.
The problem: reducing screen time. First solution: cold turkey. Total disaster. Everyone miserable, you caved by noon. Killed it. Next solution: reward systems. They gamed it immediately, somehow earning TV time by breathing. Killed it. Next: "screen time after outdoor time." They actually go outside voluntarily now. Kept that.
You never gave up on the problem. You ruthlessly killed three solutions. Most parents do the opposite—they give up on the problem but keep doing the same failed solution because they already invested three weeks.
The bedtime routine that takes 90 minutes and ends with someone crying? That's a solution. The problem is "kid needs sleep." You're allowed to kill the solution. Actually, you're supposed to. Just don't kill the problem while you're at it.
