Make Them Feel Heard First

Matt Mochary watches founders skip the most important step: making people feel heard before solving their problems. You're doing the exact same thing, except your founder is three feet tall and crying about socks.

Your kid says 'I don't like preschool.' You, instantly: 'What happened? Did someone push you? Is Miss Rachel mean? Do we need to switch schools?' You're problem-solving at the speed of panic. They haven't even finished their thought and you've already scheduled a parent-teacher conference.

Here's what Mochary does: mirror it back. They say 'I don't like preschool.' You say 'You don't like preschool.' Then—and this is the hard part—shut up. Wait. They'll keep talking. 'The blocks area is too loud.' You: 'Too loud.' More silence. 'I can't think there.' You: 'Hard to think.'

Now they feel heard. Now you can actually help. But the reflecting has to come first. Otherwise you're just a very short, very frustrated stakeholder who's about to fire you.