Roger Martin
You Can't Be Both Parents
Inspired by Roger Martin episode
Strategy is choosing to be differentiated OR low cost. You're stuck in the middle? You lose. Same with parenting: pick fun parent or disciplinarian. Both doesn't work.
You want to be the fun parent. Ice cream for breakfast! Fort-building at 9pm! But also you need them to respect boundaries and go to bed when you say bedtime.
Roger Martin says you have to choose: differentiated or low cost. Stuck in the middle and competitors will destroy you. Same here. You're trying to be Fun Parent who says yes to everything AND Strict Parent who enforces rules.
Your kid sees right through it. They're getting mixed signals. "Mom said we could have a dance party but also I have to brush my teeth? WHICH IS IT, MOM?"
Pick one. Be the parent who's warm and permissive, or be the parent who runs a tight ship. Your co-parent can cover the other side. Flying solo? Pick which battles actually matter and let the rest go. But this wishy-washy "I want to be their friend but also their authority figure" thing? That's playing to play. And you're about to lose to a four-year-old.
