Rachel Lockett
Stop Trying to Win Arguments
Inspired by Rachel Lockett episode
Rachel Lockett: goal of difficult conversations isn't convincing someone they're wrong - it's creating mutual understanding. Try with kids.
Rachel Lockett says the goal of conflict isn't to win, it's mutual understanding. Nonviolent Communication is about observations, feelings, needs, requests. Stay on your side of the net.
Your toddler won't get dressed. You've got logic, you've got consequences, you've got a calendar full of back-to-back meetings starting in twelve minutes. The toddler has one move: complete structural collapse onto the floor.
You're trying to win an argument with someone who thinks pants are a conspiracy. They're not operating in your reality. They're operating in a reality where the purple shirt has "wrong sleeves" and you're the villain for not understanding that.
Stop trying to win. You can't win. There is no win condition. The toddler isn't even playing the same game. They're playing some kind of emotional improv performance art and you're trying to resolve a JIRA ticket.
