The Unbearable Six Seconds
Inspired by Kim Scott episode
Kim Scott taught herself to wait six full seconds after asking a question. It's excruciating. It works. Try it when your kid says 'I don't know.'
Kim Scott has this listening technique: after you ask a question, count to six before speaking again. It feels unbearable. It works.
So your kid's upset. You ask what's wrong. They say "I don't know." And now you're supposed to just... sit there. Counting. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. You can feel your soul trying to escape your body. Three Mississippi. The silence is physically attacking you. Four Mississippi. You're experiencing what can only be described as conversational suffocation. Five Mississippi. You're going to die. Six Missi—
"Someone said my shoes were weird."
There it is. The thing they needed six seconds to excavate from wherever they store feelings. You nearly interrupted forty-seven times. You had a whole speech prepared about school and feelings and hunger. But you counted to six like a psychopath, and the answer just appeared.
Six seconds. It's an eternity. It's also how long it takes for honesty to beat panic.
