Parenting wisdom for product managers, powered by Lenny's Podcast

Meet Them Where They Are

Inspired by Jiaona Zhang episode

Jiaona Zhang on user research: meet users where they are, not where you want them to be. Kids need the same courtesy.

I imagine this tiny Mozart who'll conjugate French verbs while playing chess. Meanwhile, I'm celebrating matching shoes. Both on correct feet. That's the power user I wanted.

But he's not that kid. He's the kid who sees pants as a hostile negotiation.

Every morning: "Brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast." Three steps. Revolutionary. He looks at me like I've asked him to rewire the grid. So I cut it down: "Get dressed." One thing. And it took him screaming for twelve minutes while army-crawling away.

I kept designing for the kid I wanted him to become. The sophisticated, capable child. But I was looking at a person who couldn't figure out that a hat upside-down wasn't on his head.

You have to design for the human standing in front of you, not the human you're manifesting into existence. They can't handle complexity? Strip it down. They need a win? Give them a win. Start so small it almost insults them.

That's not settling. That's meeting them where they actually are.

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While this advice is inspired by Jiaona Zhang's quotes, it does not necessarily mean they would agree with it. Much like your kids or mother-in-law. If you see something odd though, you can .